What Will You Say When You Stand Before God Someday? - Page 10

Once you get there you will become a believer, but it will be too late.

Of all the possible imaginary deities ever dreamed up, you chose to worship the ultimate sadist.

Cheers!

Go dis' now her 'e'?

Personally, I think it's the user who has the problem, not the ecstasy itself.

Now that's really scary!!!

Yes, that's it.

Well, thanks!

Missionsman, let me clue you into a few things. Gods come and go. Thousands of years ago, before someone decided to invent Christianity we had Greeks worshiping their merry little band of Gods..Apollo, Zeus etc... The Vkings of course had Odin and Thor, the Egyptians being the weirdos that they are leaned towards animals. Men will always fear and try to give a rational explanation of things they don't understand. That's why man worships everything from cows to the planets because in the grand scheme of things we really don't have a clue how it all started. How can we? The planet has been around for 3 Billion years and man only for about 50 Thousand.

I happen to be Jewish. Our religion has been around for about 5800 years. About 2008 years ago a Jewish merchant had an idea. Let's start a new religion so we have people to sell stuff to. So he recruited Jesus to go off on a ranting raving preaching campaign to piss off the Romans who promptly crucified him. Voila! Mission accomplished. Now every Christmas millions upon millions of Christians not only are celebrating the birth of a Jew, they are out in droves buying each other gifts in stores that are mostly owned by Jews. Simple yet brilliant don't you think?

One of the most brilliant explanations I have ever heard.

Um, it seems that no one has asked the most obvious question of all yet...

Do you really believe that when the time comes, you'll have the chance to say anything at all? You really think He's that wishy-washy that He'll be all, "gee, I wasn't really sure what to do with you, so I thought I'd give you the opportunity to state your case. You've got three minutes. GO!"

Sorry, but even for the most religious, if you believe you can haggle your way in...

What????? Are you telling us we won't even get a chance to flip for it?

Flipping for it would just be a little too random. I think if you've got any chance at all, it'll come down to rock, paper, scissors.

You've got a 1 in 3 chance of winning, and God already knows what you're going to throw. I'd say the odds are against all of us if it comes to that.

The odds are better flipping a coin, assuming it's a 2-sided coin.

You're right, so if you got a chance to state your case, God already knows what you will say too. Maybe crying and groveling would help?

Fools!!!! Doesn't anyone realize that our whole existence is spent entirely before God? There is never a time in anyone's life that is absent from God's presence. He knows all the lies. He knows about the dog and the peanut butter that day after school. He knows about the poetry on the bathroom stall. "Do ye not know that ye are the temple of the living God?" Meditate and things will start to become more clear. Regardless of what we do, God is not capable of hating us. He is only waiting for us to love Him back!

Thanks for calling everyone fools. I'm sure God thinks it's cool when people insult others.

A man of God knows himself well and is therefore unoffended by the judgements of others. It is only the ignorant and weak who give other men power over their mind and emotions.

Sweet, where do I sign up?